Good luck watching the whole thing!

1. If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. (True)
2. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. (True)
3. In Idaho, you can be tried for suicide for shooting a mirror. (False)
4. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. (True)
5. Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die. (True)
6. There has never been a recorded instance where a goat has seen another goat die. (False)
7. When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. (True)
8. Most cats are larger than most dogs. (False)
9. Most cats are larger than most penises. (True)
10. It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body. (True)
11. The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air. (True)
12. Twenty percent of brand name shampoos contain animal feces or a fecal-like substance. (False)
13. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. (True)
14. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. (True)
15. Weird uncles wink nearly twice as much as most men. (Debatable)

Q: What?

A: THE EDUCATION SHOW

Q: Where?

A: The Fizz (3220 N Lincoln Ave, near the Belmont/Lincoln/Ashland intersection)

Q: When?

A: Thursday, April 29, 8PM
and Thursday, May 6, 8PM
and Thursday, May 13, 8PM
and Thursday, May 20, 8PM

Put on your smartypants and thinking caps for The Education Show, Chicago’s premiere edutainment event. The city’s finest comedic talents have a full lesson planned of standup, sketch, improv and musical acts to share something educational with you. Familiar faces from Impress These Apes, Barrel of Monkeys, iO, the Annoyance, Second City, Mortified, the Blue Ribbon Glee Club, Midwest Teen Sex Show, the Museum of Science and Industry, and other Chi ‘stitutions and stages will kick your smartass with intelligence—-and mad professors of laugh studies Teenager of the Year will host the whole thing!

4 nights, 4 shows, 5 bucks! Each program lasts about an hour and like Pokemon… GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!

The Education Show. Get smart with us!

Adjunct faculty include:
Ruby Weapon, Ken Barnard, Lauren Maul, Kristen Studdard, Kristin Clifford, Brooke Allen, Margaret Hicks, Nikki Pierce and Ross Bryant, Spencer Ham and Mark Lodgsen, Paul Nixon, Cynthia Castiglione, Larissa Zageris, Dyan Flores, Tim Racine, Joe Avella, The Katydids, The Wood Sugars, Josh Dumas, Joe Burton, Flaming Dames Burlesque, Bryan Bowden, Neil Arsenty, Jason Economus, Lisa Burton, The Kickers, Beth Stelling, AND MORE!

Yes, I tried. But this happened:

Obviously, you can imagine how embarrassed I was (I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THOSE EARRINGS! I WAS LIKE, “SERIOUSLY?!?!?! COME OOOOOOOON!!!!!!)!

Sit on a tack, bonehead!

Love,

Tim

Check this video out! Around the 9 minute and 57 second mark you’ll get to see your favorite “COMEDY PAIR”!!!!!!!!!!

No. He’s not…

…but you probably are.

(All kidding aside, you probably are a dick…)

Yours,

Tim

Dear Dad,

Thanks for the question. I’m not sure it’s possible to quantify homosexuality, but I’ll try!

I think the best way to answer this question is to first find the extremes.  I’d say they would have to be:

versus

We’re probably somewhere in the middle.

Go to Hell,

Tim

Come on! Don’t be a scaredy cat!

We are media whores!!